Where exactly do I start? I have been gone for a much longer time than I envisaged.
I waited and trusted myself enough to know that I would know when the time is right, and not only that but I would also know which matter of my heart would be fitting to share.
If there is one truth we have all learned this past year, it is the reality of how uncertain life can be.
I think you’d agree with me when I say it crept up on us all before we could even blink our eyelids.
I, for one, struggled immensely with it all. And lead me to ask myself two questions that today, I pose to you;
1) Do I like spending time with myself? 2) Am I afraid of being alone? And lastly, 3) How do I spend my time alone? It was vital for me to answer these questions and choose between constantly questioning life and its struggles or learn of the beauty I would find in being alone and present with myself. Especially in the height of all the uncertainty surrounding me, not just economically but also personally.
Do you spend time worrying about what the future holds or who might choose to leave you or stay? Or of what the next hour, week, or even the next nine months might entail being in the middle of panoramic and not to mention the discussions around the vaccine?
Yeah, I know, and I am in this with you. And while there is the hope of freedom again in just a few months (inserts dancing gif), right here at this moment, choose to be present with yourself. Find the small wins in this very moment, and let them propel you into a new and liberating space.
Being alone does not equate to loneliness.
I’m reminded of this verse in the Bible. Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
The more I read this scripture, the more I believe it, but on the other hand, I beat myself up for each time I have spent worrying. (Where’s the beauty in that?).
Worrying is easy but adds nothing positive to you or those connected to you. It depletes you of energy and takes your focus off the beautiful things happening for you right now. I have found it more productive to practice being present in each moment of my life, as I write, when I’m on the phone with a friend, going for a walk, or juicing up my fruits with mummy in the kitchen. It means I get to look back on such moments and smile as I reminisce on the details that made that moment as beautiful as it presented itself.
And guess what, I can do this because I was fully PRESENT at that moment. It did not matter how many pending tasks I had not yet completed that day because I had created a specific time to meet them. And as a result of that, I can write and share with you again.
Being alone leaves room for self discovery.
There is an art in being present, and sometimes, it may take being alone for a period to learn of it.
Even in this very moment, as I type, I feel it, the freedom experienced as I unburden and write, in a bid to share my heart with you, and even more significantly as you read this, you might feel something too. Whatever it is, acknowledge that feeling, give yourself 1 minute, or 3 or 5, however long you need, take it and honour it.
Finally, inhale
Exhale
And catch you soon.
TM X
